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The Unique Three-Leaf Clover of Autism
By Kristi | Published | No Comments
I was recently reflecting over the years and experiences raising a child with autism. Honestly, when I look back part of me wonders how I managed and the other part realizes at times we were very lucky. Faith, patience and luck were my 3 leaf clovers and while I’d like to think luck had very little to do with it I nonetheless must acknowledge at certain times it was definitely on my side. Just not as easy to spot, like a 4 leaf clover.
By definition luck is success or failure apparently brought on by chance rather than one’s own actions. Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. In the Bible faith is expressed as the assurance for things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Ask anyone raising a child with autism and most of us rely on both.
There is of course the leap of faith we all take time and time again. Interventions, advocacy, all the unknowns facing parents new to autism as well those of us raising the adults of autism. Faith guides us, gives us strength and keeps us going. Luck makes an appearance when we least expect it and often need it the most. At times it’s like luck and faith are one in the same.
My first experience where faith and luck intertwined occurred when Jonathan was on a lengthy waitlist for WEAP- Wisconsin Early Autism Project. Faith had me calling every week for any cancellations that would shorten the agonizing wait. And as luck would have it, one unexpected phone call in September gave us the answer to many prayers. In retrospect, there have been many instances over the years where faith and luck have intervened and helped us to move forward. At times, even carried us when we were too weary to do it on our own.
Timing and patience I found were another component of luck. I recall being so eager to give Jonathan access to everything and anything that would assist his progress. What I failed to realize is that faith and luck aren’t necessarily at the ready, despite good intentions. There is a time and place for everything- including autism. Sometimes I found myself losing faith in myself and even Jonathan because I assumed there was a timeline. Autism has its own timetable, unique to each individual which doesn’t necessarily coincide with ours. Once I accepted that I was not in control of the tempo, I knew with patience it would come…in time. Here 28 years since my son was diagnosed there are still goals, dreams and plans for his future. Still counting on faith, patience and a little luck that in time they will become a reality.
We must remember that while the 3 leaf clovers are easier to find it doesn’t lessen their value or importance. Autism is a journey in a field of shamrocks and we must gather them in abundance for they are a thing of beauty. Individually they appear similar, yet each upon closer inspection reveal their own unique beauty. It is important we take the time to appreciate each and everyone.
Knowing that as we do with faith, patience and luck there is always a chance we will find the elusive 4 leaf clover.
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