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Autism Is a Noun, Love Is a Verb
By Kristi | Published | No Comments
Today as I write this post it is Valentine’s Day. A day designated to expressions of love and affection often in the form of flowers, candy, romantic dinner and the like. Love is a powerful verb with countless meanings and a driving force for most of us. Especially when the subject of that love is attached to a noun called autism.
Clearly on a day like today most would not associate the word autism with the celebration of love. But as any writer knows, nouns and verbs are the cornerstone of impactful, concise and alluring content. So ask any parent or caregiver of loved ones on the spectrum and you will often find those two words go hand in hand. Life with autism is an experience in love that goes beyond candy, flowers or other expressions witnessed on Valentine’s Day. The power in that verb is the countless connections and expressions of a love without fanfare that are seen and felt in ways not anticipated.
If you ask anyone who has experienced that six letter word, you will get a different interpretation every single time. The love we give and receive isn’t about autism, it’s about loving with an open heart willing to push through the tough love, the heart ache and at times despair. Recognizing it’s not always about grand gestures but those unexpected moments that go unnoticed by others. Feeling your heart soar at milestones, accomplishments and relishing all the little victories many take for granted. The pain when love is not enough to conquer the cruelty of others, the misconceptions and outright injustice. Just as no two hearts are exactly the same, loving someone with autism is just as unique. Like many nouns, they are the subject that preempts the verb. That’s autism. A subject we immerse ourselves in daily with intensity, tenacity and of course, love.
With any great love, sometimes it just isn’t enough. It won’t move mountains, change the future, keep our loved ones safe. But there is a beauty, a depth and a fortitude that is capable of much more than we realize, especially during times that try us. I’ve witnessed it so many times and when I do, my heart soars to another level of love I had yet to recognize. While life with autism isn’t about wine and roses, it can touch us in ways we never imagined. I think about the many times I’ve learned more about loving and how to love from someone who has no idea what the meaning is behind Valentine’s Day or the significance of the word love–at least the way most see it. Being loved by someone who truly sees you for you. Not the hair and makeup, the mistakes you make, the clothes you wear, dinner you burned or the unkind remark you made about the neighbor. But only looks at the love given without questions or demands. Yes, love is a verb, but until it’s released and reaches its destination, it’s just a word.
Each of us is writing our own love story so to speak, but ever-present is that noun and that verb. How and when it shows up is different for everybody and sets a unique course. It will be a journey of love, moments that melt your heart as well as ones that break it. Love and autism embody so much more than a holiday, it is a love story like no other.
And like any great love story, the nouns and the verbs make all the difference as to how the story unfolds.
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